Sunday, October 18, 2009
Diaries
We've been doing some packing getting ready to move soon, and in the process I came across my old diaries from when I was a teenager, which I've kept despite how excruciatingly embarrassing they can be. For example, the entry from 17th May 1994 begins "The most important thing that happened today was Quantum Leap." I would have been 17 at the time. How sad is that?!?! It always amazes me that I never played Dungeons and Dragons when I was a kid .... I was certainly prime nerd material.
It's also reminded me that when I was in the final year of sixth form (ie: 17/18), I had a hopeless crush on a guy in the year below, and I wrote about it almost endlessly in my diary but without ever specifying his name or gender, in case my parents decided to read my diaries (which as it turns out, they did). The funny thing is, I was SOOOO amazingly obsessed by him at the time, and from reading my diaries it's reminded me that even walking past him in the corridor was enough to lift my spirits for the whole day; and yet now, I can't even remember his name. I'm pretty sure his first name was Darren, but I have no clue about his surname any more.
It's interesting reading through them, because I like to think that my life and personality has changed a lot since I left school. I like to think that I'm now a lot more confident and comfortable in my own skin. But reading some of those diary entries, it's almost like they were written yesterday. Time plays tricks on the memory though; if I was to meet my younger self now, I wonder whether I would feel that I had actually had changed. I think I would have. At the time I never dreamed that I would ever be 'out' to my family, friends, and work colleagues; and my expectations of life were not great as a result.
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to end this post, so I'll just end it. Ciao!
It's also reminded me that when I was in the final year of sixth form (ie: 17/18), I had a hopeless crush on a guy in the year below, and I wrote about it almost endlessly in my diary but without ever specifying his name or gender, in case my parents decided to read my diaries (which as it turns out, they did). The funny thing is, I was SOOOO amazingly obsessed by him at the time, and from reading my diaries it's reminded me that even walking past him in the corridor was enough to lift my spirits for the whole day; and yet now, I can't even remember his name. I'm pretty sure his first name was Darren, but I have no clue about his surname any more.
It's interesting reading through them, because I like to think that my life and personality has changed a lot since I left school. I like to think that I'm now a lot more confident and comfortable in my own skin. But reading some of those diary entries, it's almost like they were written yesterday. Time plays tricks on the memory though; if I was to meet my younger self now, I wonder whether I would feel that I had actually had changed. I think I would have. At the time I never dreamed that I would ever be 'out' to my family, friends, and work colleagues; and my expectations of life were not great as a result.
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to end this post, so I'll just end it. Ciao!
** Looking for something else? Search this site:
